This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
