if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
