A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
