Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
