you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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