Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
