Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
