Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize