Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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