Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
