If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
