omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize