This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
