Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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