Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize