So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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