there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
