Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Randomize
