i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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