the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
