have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
