I feel great
I just peed on a car
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
