well you can't waste a boner
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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