so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
3 2 1 whiskey
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
