East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
