Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
