; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
