we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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