I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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