I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
