I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
