We won't sleep together?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
