How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
