just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
