Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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