i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
