Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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