I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
