my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize