just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize