There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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