theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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