that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
