I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have post one night stand depression
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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