You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
