i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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