i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
