i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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