You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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