More tranny stories later!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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