i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
