Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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