His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize