Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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