you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
