Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
