He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
