My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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