smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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