I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
