I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize