Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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