You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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