does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
