I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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