I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
