That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
